I have a question to ask you and it is this: What are you waiting for? I say this because I have been waiting and waiting for…something. Something to happen, some things to change, for God to speak to me, for…something. For a long time, I have not known what I have been waiting for, only that I have been waiting for…something.
I had a talk with my sister today and she revealed something very profound to me. She revealed to me the source of my boredom with life in general. She said to me, “The reason why you are bored is because you are not doing what you were meant to do.” That hit me like a bolt of lightening and had me gasping for breath. Because it is so very true. I have been waiting for something instead of doing something and that has had me dissatisfied with life and my relationship with God.
I am a writer. I am meant to be writing. But I hit a snag of writer’s block and quit writing, rather than working through the block and continuing to fight the good fight of faith in my writing. I have no one to blame but myself. I can’t blame the block because the block is really only a tool in the Master’s Hand to hone my skills and make me a better writer and person in general. I failed that particular test and am on the retaking of it now and am determined to pass this next bout of testing with flying colors.
So, when I ask you what you are waiting for, I am really speaking to myself. As I traverse this particular portion of my journey, I realize that I have been doing way too much analyzing and not enough living and it is time to reverse that trend and turn the tides in my favor. It is time for me to get off my duff and into the throes of life and engage with it head-on and full out, the way that I used to live before sorrow and suffering made a call on my life and sent me into a tailspin that I am still struggling to wade my way through.
Life has not been waiting for me as I have been waiting for…something. It has been marching on and I have been left in its wake and missing out on the beauty of struggle and challenge. I haven’t wanted to be challenged. I had wanted life to be easy for me because I had been tired of the struggles of life and wanted to take it easy or for life to take it easy on me for a change and I got lazy. Slothful. And bored. For when you cease to be challenged, you become complacent and complacence gives way to boredom and boredom is one thing that I cannot abide. So I am getting back on the horse of challenge and struggle and will struggle my way to victory, God cheering me on all along the journey. For it is God who wills in us both to willl and do of His good pleasure.
It is the Lord Who is stirring up the gift that is within me and He is using dissatisfaction and boredom as the stirring spoons. He is putting thorns into my nest of complacency and my soul is being pricked and my interest piqued by life again. I am ready to soar with the eagles again. I’ve had enough of this mediocrity that I have been calling life. It’s time to dust off my writing pen and get back to work.
So, you will be seeing me around here again. I’m sorry that I have been away so long. I have left you hanging and the Lord waiting and for that I must repent and go do my first works over again.
I’m ready. And even if I weren’t, I’d still be going. It’s the challenge, you see. And I am ready for the challenge.
Watch out, world. Here comes Cassie.