As I go along on this journey of my life, I find that I am winding around a bend in the road. My life has taken some twists and turns and God has proven Himself to be a very attentive guide and benefactor.
The Lord is revealing things to me about myself that I had not been aware of and some of those revlations have been rather startling. For instance, He pointed out to me the necessity of allowing Him full control of my life and that got a rise out of me because I had been so sure that I had been yielding myself fully to the Lord all this time. However, after I thought about it for a bit, I realized that there are certain areas in my life that I had been holding on to and not letting go. I felt a resistance within me as I thought about giving up total control of my life to God. And I asked the Holy Spirit to help me relinquish those things to Him, as I felt hard pressed to just “turn over the wheel” to God in those areas. And He is helping me.
God does not want just a part of us, or even most of us. He wants ALL of us, just as we wouldn’t be satisfied with only pieces of Him.
I find myself questioning who I am on this particular bend of the road. The Lord has been stretching me and pruning me and some of the pricks have been rather painful, but necessary for my growth and continued healing.
Who am I, I ask myself and God. I don’t recognize this latest version of me that the Lord is sculpting into His image. I am all aflutter and a bit bemused at the me that I see in the mirror. But soon enough, I will be able to recognize myself in Him as I am truly meant to be. That time cannot come soon enough or quick enough for me.
The Lord knows what He is doing. I have to trust that and trust in Him completely in order to realize my destiny and come into the fulness of both myself and God.
My legs are rather shaky as I take these steps out of the ordinary and into the unknown. I hesitate a bit as I walk (and sometimes stumble) along this path that the Lord has seen fit for me to travel upon. One thing I know, however, that makes the going easier, is that I have a Shepherd I can trust to lead me and to guide me and never have I needed to lean upon His staff more than I do right now.
What the Lord has planned for me, I do not yet know, but I know that His plans for me are good and right and will lead me to places I had only dreamed of. “For I know the thoughts that I think toward you, saith the Lord, thoughts of peace, and not of evil, to give you an expected end.” (Jer. 29:11)
I think that I shall stop watching my feet and start looking around at the scenery in this bend in the road. For I am missing beauty and discovery as I have been too busy wondering at where I am headed and how I am going to get there instead of passing the time enjoying the view as I traverse the plain of my life. God, give me eyes to see You in this place that you are leading me to and from.
Blessed be the Name of the Lord.