As I sit here (or lay, as the case may be, since I am in bed), I’ve been pondering and contemplating where I am to go with this blog and what I am to say next. You see, I do not know. So I ponder and I ask God where He will take me, and all I get is the sense, “I’m here.” So, in faith, I will walk where He would have me to walk and allow Him to work out the details.
The reason for my pondering is this: My life is so different now. I don’t see things the way that I used to, I don’t act the way that I used to, and I don’t believe the lies that the enemy has been speaking to me for so long. So, here I sit, not quite knowing what to do with myself. The enemy has been telling me for so long that I don’t have things to say and/or those things that I DO say will not have any impact, neither will people particularly care. I overlook those lies (okay, I try to overlook them as best I can, then I get out my Word and start shooting off my rifle of faith), but the thing about temptation is that you have to want or be affected by the thing that the enemy brings to your face. You see, there is a fear somewhere inside me that has to be dealt with. The fear that “this is all there is to me,” that there is not much there inside me as I thought and I am going to run out of things to say and encouage people with. Now, on a natural note, all of the things that I have gone through has given me plenty of fodder and fuel to add to the fire of me and my imaginations and passions. But the part of me that had been confined for a long time (my mind as well as my body) tends to put its two cents into the equation and I am sometimes left feeling a bit inadequate and ineffective in the arena of helping people. Sometimes, it seems as though I cannot help myself.
But that’s where God steps in. That is where His Word is my weapon and I take it out and shoot the enemy right between the eyes. For it is not in myself that I have the power to do anything in myself. That is what Jesus meant when He said for us to abide in Him, for without Him we can do nothing. So I must hold onto my faith, though my circumstances sometimes tells me that God is not listening or that I am “on my own” in this life and have to figure things out on my own. These are all lies and decptions of the enemy and my natural man, the one who is used to listening and responding to those lies are at war with the inner man of the Spirit. “For the flesh lusteth against the Spirit, and the Spirit against the flesh: and these are contrary the one to the other: so that ye cannot do the things that ye would.” (Gal.5:17) This natual man (the flesh) and the Spirit of God are at emnity with one another. The flesh always wants to do what is contrary to the Word of God. “Because the carnal mind is enmity against God: for it is not subject to the law of God, neither indeed can be. So then they that are in the flesh cannot please God.” (Rom.8:7,8)
It’s amazing. When I am “in the flesh,” I feel so many things that are contrary to God’s Word and my feelings start going haywire and all of a sudden I am feeling doubt or despair or discouragement. Which is what those above passages mean. But when I am in walking in the Spirit (that is, I am letting the Holy Ghost lead and guide me and show/tell me what to do), my inner man is strengthened and I begin to wonder what in the world I was feeling so strangely or worried about. The devil flees when the Word of God is put to Him. It’s the only thing that he respects and he has no choice BUT to follow the Word of God.
I can feel the presence of God. I can sense His encouragement as I lean on His Word and not on my feelings or perceptions. It’s as though He were saying to me, “Good girl! You’re doing just what you are supposed to do and I am proud of you.”
It is true that God is our deliverer. But if He is constantly having to deliver us from fear or intimidation or doubt or any of the other emotions that run rampant through our minds without allowing us to fight those battles and win them on our own, we don’t get anything from it. We are still weak in faith. All we’ve done is gotten a slight reprieve, but you can be certain that the enemy (satan) will be right back to harrass and hound us until we get out the Sword of the Spirit (which is the Word of God) and our shield of faith and use the armor of God that has been provided to us. THAT is where our victory lies. Not in waiting for God to rescue us from every trial and calamity, but for us to use our tools and weapons and engage the enemy ourselves. So we can see that we are fighting a defeated foe and not cower to fears or doubts or the harrassment of satan.
And here I was thinking that I did not “have anything to say.” It was the enemy all along, whispering his vile filth in my ear and I was temporarily listening to those words because I was beginning to feel as though I really did not have a word to say. But that has just been proven to be yet another lie, hasn’t it? The devil is a liar and the father of lies. But he is also persistent. That only goes on to remind me that I must always be sober and vigilant.” Be sober, be vigilant; because your adversary the devil, as a roaring lion, walketh about, seeking whom he may devour:” (1 Pet.5:8)
Sometimes I get so caught up in the freedom that I have in Jesus that I forget that I have an enemy who seeks to destroy and take all that I have gained. This morning was a good reminder of that. I’d set aside my armor for just a moment and the enemy was all over me. I must remember to KEEP IT ON at all times…resting or fighting. For we fight the good fight of faith and that battle will always be waging until our Lord’s return. But I am on the winning side. I am MORE than a conqueror. And satan will soon be frying for all of eternity. All wonderful news.
God is here. He is always here, whether I feel Him or not. I was not feeling Him a short while ago, but I can almost hear the roar of the Lion of the tribe of Judah as He stares down my enemy and reminds him that HE (the God of the universe) is in control of ALL things. Both seen and unseen. For a second, I had forgotten that I was under His protection and His care because I had listened to the lies of satan. That’s a lesson I won’t soon forget.
Whenever you are feeling out of sorts or discouraged, know it is the voice of the enemy whispering in your ears. Take out your Sword and cut his head off in the Name of Jesus. He’s GOT to bow to that Name and get to running…in the opposite direction of you! You are more than a conqueror if you love God and are the called according to His purpose. Remember that. I certainly will.